Our Experience of doing the Church Circuit

Within the two years, my wife and I have--for a variety of reasons--visited thirteen churches. We visited: 

• Ten Christian Reformed Churches 
• Two Baptist churches
• A community church 
• Churches in Ontario, Michigan, and Tennessee
• A Spanglish congregation 
• A church of a thousand people 
• Churches of fewer than a hundred people 
• Five churches that are ten years old or younger 
• Growing churches 
• Churches in decline 
• Churches that use guitars in worship 
• Churches that use the saxophone in worship 
• Churches that use the trumpet in worship
• Churches that use the organ in worship
• Churches that use the banjo in worship (guess which state/province that was in) 
• Affluent churches 
• Poor churches 
• An urban church 
• Suburban churches 
• Rural churches 
• And mountainous, backwoods, preacher-gives-illustrations-about-getting-his-fingers-cut-off-in-a-table-saw-accident rural church 
• A church that was proudly and resolutely King James only 
• Churches that wouldn't recognize the Bible unless it was an app on their phone  

This variety has drawn my attention to several instructional points for churches: 

1. The importance of the saints of hospitality in making people feel welcomed. There are people who are just good at-- or very intentional-- at making people feel welcomed. Visiting a new church is a mostly awkward experience, but some people are really good at making one feel comfortable despite the foreign environment. Churches ought to cherish these people and encourage them in this gifting. We were invited to dinner two times in the first three weeks we attended our current church. It was a good opportunity for us, as guests, to get to know the church.
2. The importance of speaking highly of one's own church. We were struck by how highly some people spoke of their pastor, their fellow members, and their church. This edifying speech encourages others to further journey into this new community.
3. Name tags are appreciated (especially for return visitors).  Guests already feel awkward enough visiting a new church. Why make it more awkward by making them memorize two dozen new names and not have to ask once, twice, or three times for them to repeat or remind you what their name were? This is a small thing that makes a big difference in the guest's comfort level.
4. Bad preaching is bad preaching, no matter how the rest of the service goes. There is no hiding bad preaching. No amount of semi-professional music can compensate for preaching that is dull, uninspired, or lifeless. Neither can the friendliness of the church's members compensate for a sermon that is neither biblical nor centered on the person and work of Jesus. A handshake and a smile might warm for a while, but they are not sufficient for keeping the heart's fire burning for the treasures of the gospel.
5. The 60 second handshake free-for-all at the beginning of a service can either demonstrate a church's vibrancy or it can uncover a church's shame. One of the churches we visited does this really well. There are babies being passed around, people leave their seats and try and complete a lap around the main aisle before the worship band starts up the next song. There is hugging and laughing and introductions. It's great! Other places, this is 60 seconds of awkward looking around and perhaps shuffling out of one's pew to shake your brother-in-law's hand. Guests can tell if this is a forced social experiment thrust upon them by the pastor or if it is a natural outflow of the church's Christian love for one another (and joy at meeting in the house of God together).
6. If your church is large, install systems to ensure everyone is made to feel welcome. Don't allow guests to slip through the backdoor. One of the churches we visited allowed us to get in the doors and back out them without ever being greeted. We never returned.
7. If you're a small church, find the balance between making guests feel welcome and making guests feel like an ant under a magnifying glass. At one church we visited, I let slip that I was a seminary student. Word raced to the back of the church and a queue quickly formed:
   
   "Oh, you're a seminary student?"
   "Yes."
   "We would love to have you!"
   "Oh?"
   "Yes, we've been praying for young people to come to our church."
   "I see."
   "The VanderSloo's over there came fifteen years ago..."
   "Who?"
   "Oh, that young couple over there... the man with the walking cane."
   "Isn't he--
   "--sixty one! Yep, but age is really relative and--truth be told--if Mrs. VanderSloo takes an extra dose of her medication she is the absolute life of the party. We'd really love you and your wife to come next week."
   
   Guests don't want to feel like fresh meat. Try not to give off the odor of a desperate church.